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‘O Solo Dining
It’s a paradox. Some of the most confident and smart! really smart! people I know never go out for a meal by themselves. They “take out.” They go home. They set the table and eat the food. I am a solo diner. You might meet interesting people and possibly find a new friend when you’re [Read More]
Dis’d Passionate
I must have been talking about paperclips. Know anybody who can tell you everything you probably don’t need to know about wine? That’s me and paperclips. Paperclips shaped like shirts, question marks, alligators, thought bubbles, and the two-finger peace sign. I am also crazy for paper, pens, kitschy erasers, oxford shoes, colorful socks, and the [Read More]
Lord, Have Mercy
Lord, have mercy. Do not send another smug or arrogant person to ruin my day. Rid me of these shrewish types who ride herd atop their self-important perches (and their flamboyantly expensive sport utility vehicles). Lord, do not let me mimic their ways. Do not let me be tempted to cross the street rather than [Read More]
Have The Cheesecake
Two friends were standing on the deck of the British passenger ship the Titanic minutes before it sank. One woman allegedly said to the other, “I should have had the cheesecake.” The cheesecake is everything we’d like to do but don’t. We think we’ll get around to it but occasionally we don’t. We tell ourselves [Read More]
Post’d-it
Everyday I open my cupboard (I once took a flight to London and they announced on the loudspeaker, “The larder is open all night.” (Don’t you love the words larder and cupboard? So quaint.) Ah yes, where was I? Everyday I open the cupboard and there’s a yellow Post-it note scotch-taped to a shelf (Post-It [Read More]
(Clueless) Small Talk
Three days and counting before you walk into a holiday party and step into the spotlight (or a minefield). There are those who can start a conversation with a venetian blind (that would be me). Then there are those who would prefer to drink themselves into a stupor rather than make inane chit chat (sorry [Read More]
Starring “Venus”
Her posture is perfect. Impeccably groomed, she greets everyone with an easy smile. Quite knowledgeable, she will always share her opinion about that day’s performance (“the soprano keeps missing the high C”). Her name is Venus and she is the ladies’ room attendant on the Grand Tier at the Metropolitan Opera. Whenever I hear someone [Read More]
My ‘Fantasy’ Thanksgiving
I am quite aware of the reality that will play out this Thursday but I can still fantasize…. The children will behave. They will not interrupt a conversation nor will the parents ask the adults to stop speaking so the children can continue interrupting. The adults will behave. People will leave their sour moods either [Read More]
An Unrepentant Flirt
Do you flirt? I flirt. I cannot remember a day when I didn’t flirt. It comes naturally to me. I’m sure it has something to do with my childhood (everything has something to do with my childhood.) You probably know: It’s not okay to flirt. Let me repeat that: It Is Not Okay To Flirt. [Read More]